Here we are, it's opening day, and my hopes haven't been completely 100% dashed yet. How long will it last? Hopefully longer than last year, when I was at the Bills VS Dolphins opener, and the crowd's enthusiasm lasted all the way until the Bills went three-and-out and punted after an awful opening posession.
FIRST QUARTER:
-Calling the game are former NFL QB Rick Ganon and MARV ALBERT! YES!
-15:00: Chiefs win the toss and opt to receive. First play goes Buffalo's way as they force a fumble, and recover it at the KC 26. NICE!
-14:53: Field is now covered in fog because of pre-game explosions. Pass for Parrish is incomplete, but KC gets called for pass interference.
-14:10: Jackson gets a couple good runs for a first down and put Buffalo first-and-goal.
-13:41: Fitz fumbles the snap, but manages to recover it, and get back to the line of scrimmage.
-12:14: Fitzpatrick hits TE Scott Chandler for a 4 yard TOUCHDOWN. Great start. Extra point makes it 7-0 BILLS.
-12:02: Bills immediately miss a tackle that turns a 3 yard gain into a 15 yard gain. Terrence McGee is shaken up. I will not grieve.
-11:32: First test for the run D, and KC picks up four on a toss sweep. Not great, but not bad either.
-11:08: Bills get a sack on 3rd-and-6 to force a punt. This is going too well this early.
-8:23: Stevie Johnson can't hold on to the pass on 3rd-and-9. This is what I'm afraid of. They have the momentum, but can't keep it. Hopefully the defense can make a big play to get it back.
-7:33: Bills force a three-and-out, Terrence McGee is done for the day, and the home crowd is booing the Chiefs already. This is going WAY too well to last.
-6:59: KC punter shanks his kick, giving the Bills good field position.
-6:17: Bills can't do anything with it, as Fitz's accuracy has been ass so far.
-5:47: ...and Shawne Merriman gets hurt. Of course he does.
-4:44: Bills force another three-and-out as Dwayne Bowe can't make a spectacular one-handed catch.
-2:57: Bills convert a 3rd-and-6 to keep the drive going. The offense REALLY needed that.
-1:38: Bills get a BIG 35 yard gain from Fitz to David Nelson. Come guys, make it a two score game.
-0:55: STEVIE JOHNSON IS YOUR DADDY! Great leaping catch for a 27 yard touchdown. Extra point makes it 14-0 BILLS.
-0:48: Jamaal Charles runs for 22. Do not let this great start slip away!
SECOND QUARTER:
-14:00: Bills get no pass rush on 3rd-and-4, and KC is driving.
-13:15: Leodis McKelvin loses Dwayne Bowe. KC is almost in the red zone.
-12:16: Bills appear to give up a TD, but it's overruled on replay. Good thing for the "every TD is reviewed" rule they added this year.
-12:09: Bills get a sack after no pass rush this drive to force a long FG attempt.
-11:38: Scott Chandler makes a great catch to put Buffalo in KC territory. Marv & Rich are stunned that the Bills are using a tight end effectively.
-10:00: Third-and-one, Buffalo HAS to get this...
-9:32: ...and they do.
-8:44: Scott Chandler...who knew?
-6:50: Bad throw by Fitz doesn't allow the Bills to convert on third down, but at least they're set for a short FG.
-6:46: Which Lindell makes to make it 17-0 BILLS.
-6:37: Bills allow a kickoff return, but only to the KC 18.
-6:27: Bills recover another fumble, this time by Jamaal Charles, setting them up at the KC 21.
-5:42: Bills can't do anything with it, have to settle for another FG try.
-5:38: Lindell FG makes it 20-0 BILLS.
-4:42: Bills give up a 3rd-and-9, I thought there was a false start.
-3:49: Bills give up a 23 yard run. DO NOT LET THEM GET BACK IN THE GAME DAMN IT!
-2:45: Here comes the Buffalo run defense that we know and hate. Grrrrrrrrr.
-1:46: Bills narrowly miss getting an INT, and Charles scores on a 6 yard pass from Cassel. PAT makes it 20-7 BILLS.
-1:41: Brad Smith takes the kickoff out of the end zone and only makes it to the BUF 14, then they're called for a false start. *sigh*
-0:35: Jackson somehow avoids getting stuffed on 3rd-and-1, allowing Buffalo to run out the clock.
THIRD QUARTER:
-15:00: Fitz finds David Nelson for a 17 yard gain. Good start.
-14:20: Jackson breaks 2 tackles to run for 14 and put Buffalo in KC territory.
-12:12: Fitz gets sacked on 3rd-and-7 to kill the drive. Not liking where this game is heading.
-10:20: Bills give up a first down on KC's first play, but nothing after. Short punt gives Bills good field position again. Hopefully they can take advantage of it.
-10:04: Fred Jackson breaks off a 24 yard run to get the Bills in scoring position.
-8:49: Jackson is ripping off big gains, Spiller is getting stuffed. Not looking good for CJ's future.
-7:18: Fitz finds Chandler again to make it first-and-goal at the KC 6.
-5:12: 3rd-and-goal inside the one...and another false start. Damn it.
-4:42: ...and then a delay of game. What. The. Fuck.
-4:19: Bills somehow redeem themselves as Fitz finds a WIDE FUCKING OPEN Scott Chandler a milisecond before he gets crushed. PAT makes it 27-7 BILLS.
-3:18: KC responds by trying a no-huddle offense, which results in them going 3-and-out...BUT FASTER! I am absolutely GIDDY right now.
-3:04: Roscoe Parrish with a great punt return...and no flags! This is really happening, isn't it?
-1:37: Fitz completes to Stevie Johnson on 3rd-and-11 to make it first-and-goal.
-0:14: Fitz connects with Donald Jones for his fourth TD. Kim Miller says "They better slow down, they're gonna use up all their TDs for the season at this rate". PAT makes it 34-7 BILLS.
-0:02: Chiefs give up hope, start trying the Madden "throw a bunch of long passes" offense. Drayton Florence drops an INT.
FOURTH QUARTER:
-14:25: Chiefs go for in on 4th-and-4, drawing Marell Darius offside to get it. He's going to KILL someone for that.
-14:01: LOL at KC trying play-action down 34-7, and Florence makes good on a second chance to get an INT. Point of comparison: Last season, the Bills' secondary did not record an INT until DECEMBER.
-13:11: Freddy Jackson breaks two tackles to run for 11. If there were more fans in the stands, the boos would be INCREDIBLE.
-11:50: Spiller the Thriller puts the icing on the cake with a 9 yard TD. PAT makes it 41-7 BILLS.
-9:31: Bills force a three-and-out. Rich Ganon blames the crowd's reaction on the fumble on the opening kickoff, not everything that happened afterward.
-9:30: Arrowhead is fucking EMPTY. Tyler Thigpen comes in. You know you're having a bad game when BUFFALO puts their backup QB in more mop-up duty. Can't remember the last time it happened.
-5:30: Another three-and-out forced by the Bills. All I can do is enjoy this.
-4:33: Bills say "fuck it" and let Brad Smith throw a bomb. It gets picked, but I don't care.
-4:26: I'm bored, so I've written a song about this game. I call it "Kansas City, Kansas City".
You were division champs but,
Now you're slippin'.
Buffalo's opened a case of butt-whippin'
Butt-whippin', butt-whippin'
Butt-whippin', butt-whippin'
Butt-whippin', butt-whippin'
Butt-whippin', butt-whippin'
BUUUUUUUUUUUTT-WHIPPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN'!!!
BUTT-WHIPPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN'!!!
BUTT-WHIPPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN'!!!
AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!
It's called "Kansas City, Kansas City".
-3:00: Rick & Marv get bored, and talk about Fitz wearing his wedding ring during games.
-2:10: Johnny White gets pasted, and the KC defender takes the time to celebrate. LOOK AT THE SCOREBOARD NUMB NUTS.
-2:00: Inappropriate thought: if an airplane crashed into Arrowhead right now, would it kill less people than 9/11 did? Including the two teams?
-:00: KC runs out the clock as Chiefs and Colts fans everywhere look for their cyanide tablets. Marv notes it's the second-worst home loss in KC HISTORY. Tremendous!
Wow, what an opening day. I had a suspicion Buffalo would have a shot today, but I didn't expect THIS. Well done everyone, and I can have hope for at least one more week.
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